Memories

Tonight I was going through my old drafts on my page that I never posted. Sucked. So many good writings and so many experiences that are now dead and gone. so much about my ex and when Maggie was tiny. A lot about her in the hospital when she was sick, so much grief and hardships. Crazy how things shape and morph a person into a totally different one. I can confidently say that I am totally different than I was a year ago.

Memories are a bitch.

How do professional bloggers think up things to blog about every single day? Do they blog every single day? Maybe I should do some investigating.

Is it wrong to hope you have a thyroid problem? I have amazing fatigue and exhaustion. My hair is falling out, I have zero appetite and I keep gaining weight. I never finish a meal. My doctor said its the only thing that makes sense. She also wants me to see a nutritionist. Oy vey. It would be nice to have a reason for all of this. I can only pray that this is not my reality.

Maybe I'll get another tattoo. That would be a really financially responsible choice. I'll go back to work soon and not have to worry about it as much. I'll get a car soon and be like a responsible adult. My best friend just got a new car and it's amazing. It's gorgeous. She is so responsible and controlled and kind and loving and just amazing. She's the person who I am truly lucky to have. Who everyone would kill to have by their side. She is always there for me even when I'm a total bitch, she's right there talking me through it and giving me truths and encouraging me to stop being a bitch. She's my gem.

Why do I always want to buy something when I'm sad? It's either that or eat but I'm always so nauseous so that doesn't happen.

I hope this new medication helps. I'm tired of being tired.