Ok, but seriously. This dog pushes his way into my room and shits on my floor for no reason. Maybe he just doesn't like me. But he tries to cuddle with me so he must like me. Right?
I had another doctor appointment today. He's trying to tell me all this ish about how I don't know how to control my asthma (which I have had for about... 19 years of my life. Literally ever since I can remember.) It was my 2nd visit with him. He's one of my newer doctors. He's a fool I tell you, a fool. Maybe I should just find a new primary. Screw you, Dr. Carson!
He also wants me to have a pulmonary function test done. I am over tests and needles. Too bad I will never ever be able to get away from the latter. With the diabeetus and all. Oy.
Keep in mind that this is the same doctor who ordered a CAT scan done STAT last month because he was 100% sure that I had a pulmonary embolism, AKA blood clots in my lungs.
I think hes a quack who is behind on his yacht payments and doesn't give a shit how he pays them. (Meaning he's ordering bullshit tests and scans on pregnant chicks, for fun.) Grr.
I'm tired today. Not like I had a bad sleep last night and I'm going to bed early to make up for it. Like I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of having diabetes and other chronic illnesses that will never leave me for the rest of my days. My heart is tired and my brain is tired and I am struggling with today, and dealing with life.
But days are temporary. And feelings can be too... Sometimes.
I know that I won't always feel like this. Some days will inevitably be worse than others, and some days I'll be happy and confident in my position in life, where I am and the progress I've made. Other days I'll look at my so-called progress and cry because I'll feel like I've gotten nowhere and I'm failing myself, my body, my child and everyone around me. I've had them days before and I'll sure as hell have them again.
Today is one of those think about my "progress" and cry kind of days.
My doctor wants me to have an eye exam because my eyesight is getting worse and we want to make sure I won't be blind by the time I'm 30 because of my diabetes.
I also need to go for some other test or scan or something the week after my daughter is born because I can't have it done while I'm pregnant because it will make her grow a third arm or some shit... Makes me think, " What is that doing to MY insides?"
I guess in the end it wont matter too too much. I'll either live long and prosper or I wont, and I'm pretty content with either.
Peace, Mego out.
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